Wake up, babe!
The first 2026 eel pit update just dropped.
We are so back.
Oh?
Sorry.
Are you not familiar with the eel pit?
Did you forget about this key moment of hyper-niche, COVID-time, TikTok history??
Were you not locked into the year-long saga of a Kentucky man turning a rain cistern under his garage into a fully functional pond for eels???
Not to be rude…but that’s kind of crazy.
Did you have something better going on from 2021-2022???
Was that like, a super productive and exciting time for you????
Because while you were out doing God knows what,1 the rest of us were forever altered by Nick Tobler, aka Eel Daddy’s hero journey
I remember the day I learned about the pit.
Nay!
I remember the months this took over my life.
The entire process fascinated me.
The sheer amount of prep to create a 5,000-gallon, 3-foot-deep eel sanctuary (air ventilation, water filtration, integrating other fish first, etc.)
The communal naming process for his first eel delivery. Notable stars, Mentally Eel, Meelanie, Steely Dan, and Crunchwrap Supreme.
The sinister nature of this specific photograph.
The fact that he climbs DOWN A MANHOLE to enter this space!! Every day!!
What could possibly possess a person to do this???
I haven’t looked behind our fridge once since we bought our house three years ago!
There could already be an entire eel pit under our basement, and I simply would not know.
I told everyone I knew about the pit. I spread the good word like I was on a spiritual mission.
I spent a full girls’ trip in Austin, Texas, regaling women who did not care to know anything about eels with everything I had recently learned about eels.
Did you know that eels can swim backward?
Did you know that freshwater eels actually start their life in saltwater?
Did you know that some dude in Kentucky is building a PIT of EELS because he thinks it’s FUN????
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?????!?!
WHAT ELSE CAN I POSSIBLY SAY THAT WILL MAKE YOU CARE ABOUT THIS?!?!?
I was a woman possessed. It was all I could think about.
I’d be having a totally normal conversation, and eels would wriggle their way in, somehow.
No, seriously. I wrote this blog post during that aforementioned girls’ trip in 2022.
Clubbin’ all night, dissecting the eel pit's impact on my psyche all morning:
That whole article is worth a re-read for philosophical bars like:
I’m more relaxed watching a basement full of eels than I am reading about current affairs.2
And.
Before you can take on the world, you need to tend to your pit.
And.
The eel pit is a lesson in manifestation.
Just call me Marcus Aur-eel-ius.
You’ll be thrilled to learn that, in the last four years, the pit has expanded beyond just eels!
There’s a 3-foot-long diamond sturgeon.
There’s longnose gar.
Spotted gar.
Alligator gar.
One of them is named Garlic.
Another is named Garfield.
What a beautiful thing! These creatures are flourishing!
Sure, it’s not normal.
Sure, it’s a bit disturbing.
Sure, it probably violates a very specific set of property and/or animal laws.3
But it’s also soothing to watch, which is a lot more than I can say about my second-favourite pit-based program.
It’s also not hurting anyone?
The fish are thriving!4
The comment section is full of wholesome nerds asking for advice on their tanks.
This is truly the best-case scenario for any illegal operation happening in a cement hole.
Eel Daddy hasn’t had any casualties! Even the two sunfish — who would be tasty, tasty snacks for some of the other, larger fish in the pit — are swimming happily about.
The eel pit is a utopia.
His 2026 update is simply that everyone is content, everyone is cohabiting, and Eel Daddy has “just been letting everyone grow.”
How pleasant! What wisdom!
Sometimes all you need is to leave your red lawn chair in the rain cistern and take a breather.
The eels are already there! They’ll grow on their own.
Everything meaningful takes time.
Four years ago, I grappled with Eel Daddy’s assuredness.
He always wanted to have eels, so he found a way to have eels.
Simple as that.
He laboured over his pit purely for the love of the game.
He was the architect of his own dreams!
When asked for his advice on keeping eels, he replied: “Do it. It's really easy. It's fun.”
Fun!!!
At the time, I was still trying to cultivate a writing practice.
I was unsure of my abilities.
I was drowning in perfectionism.
I never felt like I was doing enough, and I was paranoid that everything I did produce was terrible.
There was no peace in my creative process. Every newsletter was crafted in a swampy dungeon of manic activity.
I was trapped in a basement of my own making, playing with loose, slippery noodles of ideas, trying to figure out why I started this damn hobby in the first place.
I couldn’t see the light at the end of the pit, and nothing about it was fun!!?!?
How could my art possibly be FUN!?!!?
Eel Daddy reflected an ease that was confronting, inspiring, and completely unrelatable.
Reading back that 2022 newsletter, it’s surprising how much of my current voice breaks through.5
All I remember from writing that post was the stress I felt to publish. I was so afraid of typos.
Afraid of sounding stupid.
Afraid of letting anyone read my work.
Afraid of being too try-hard (a cross I will always bear).
In 2026, I’ve mostly outgrown these fears. At the very least, I’ve shed them enough to focus on the writing.
I always wanted to write, so I sit down on Sundays and play on Substack.
Simple as that.
The more I fall in love with the process, the more I shed my own expectations of what “good” writing is, the more I make myself laugh with these nonsense newsletters, the more ease I feel…
Turns out the fun was already there!! It just had to grow on its own.
Eel Daddy, you wise sonofabitch, you.
Anyway…I must alert everyone to the eel pit Redbubble shop and kindly ask that you vote on which of these shirts I should order.
Last thought
In more cylindrical, legless creature news, I fear Worm From Home may overtake my life this fall…
Have I ever been interested in video games? Not really. But this Kafka-esque nonsense is speaking to me on a soul level.
Be the Worm of Wall Street in this silly simulation game about working a remote finance job. Throw your spineless body around the keyboard to invest in the stock market and earn obscene amounts of money. Buy upgrades, train skills, and worm your way up to the promotion you’ve always dreamed of!
Breaking lockdown restrictions sounds like
Even more true in 2026
If there aren’t any laws prohibiting at-home eel pits, maybe there should be? Do we want this?? If the US is going to claim their right to guns, surely eels are fine.
Are eels fish? I still don’t know
There’s almost an Allegory of the Cave reference in there, which is as good a reason as any to share this image:
Best post ever. No one hates you. Never that busy. My concussion is resolved. Eels are gross. Should they be kept underground? You're always a little weird. Never want to hear about the eel pit again...twice is enough.
Hahahaha I am learning so much