Worry Review
“I can see the end of art and culture and sometimes even human life if I’ve been scrolling through the right pages for long enough”
We’re turning the page on our June book, Worry by Alexandra Tanner.
One Sentence Summary:
Two sisters-turned-roommates struggle to navigate their relationship and the rising dread of being an American in 2019
My Thoughts
This book was a doom scroll brought to life.
It was the literary equivalent of accidentally opening your front-facing camera and being disgusted with your reflection.
I couldn’t put it down.
I laughed a little.
I squirmed a lot.
It made me think about my relationship with technology.
And “buying stuff.”
And following accounts “ironically” only to get sucked into the endless void of content.
And feeling unfulfilled and overwhelmed simultaneously. All of the time. Endlessly.
And constantly comparing everyone on the internet to feel better or worse about myself (never neutral).
To the deep-rooted stress of needing something to be different, but having no idea what or how to start when you’re pretty sure the problem isn’t your screen time and is actually that the world is collapsing around you in real time.
…I guess I’m saying this book made me reflect on a lot. It’s also one of the best things I’ve read this year.
Talia gets it 👇
Let’s get into the details! Here are some elements I loved:
The gruesome moments. Worry did not pull punches. It was visceral, abrasive, and really fucking dark. Will some people think the macabre bits are unnecessary? Maybe! But this book is about sisterhood and the internet - two things that famously get very gross and very messy.
One of my favourite moments was when Jules heard “Oh my God” coming from Poppy’s phone and assumed she was masturbating. Poppy frantically runs after her saying “It wasn’t porn, it wasn’t porn, it was 9/11 footage, it was jumpers, it was people filming people jump”(pg 8) — as if that’s better.
Everything about mothers. If you have a tough relationship with your mom, be careful with this title. Between the mommy blogger captions, the phone calls with their actual mother, and lines like “It’s not love to do things that confuse the things you love”(pg 267), this book is a landmine for anyone with mommy issues. At its core though, this is a story about two girls trying to mother each other, failing miserably, and continuing to try anyway. That’s a pretty beautiful thing.
The family dynamics in general. From the first line, I knew I would love this book: “My sister Poppy arrives on a wet Thursday, dressed ugly and covered in hives” (pg1). That, followed by Jules conspiring to steal Poppy’s coat was just 🤌 The competitiveness and love between these two felt so real and fun to read.
And the relationships only got more complex from there! A father who also administers your botox? Cousins who are Trump supporters? Neighbours with a son in jail for bestiality? That Thanksgiving dinner was a car crash, and I loved every second of it — Specifically, this moment made me laugh out loud:
“Allyson tries to move on, going, “Either way, this election isn’t up to any of us.” I think I see her look up at the ceiling, as if to imply that the election of the next president of these United States is up to God.” (pg 241)
The 4QHL scene. Anyone who has taken Adderall knows exactly how “the floor’s kinda dirty” turns into an hours-long productivity bender including reimagining your entire life and writing a sitcom screenplay(pg 41-43). This was one of the funniest parts of the whole book.
This moment about the dog:
“ …you need a soft, cute thing to look at to keep you from, like, looking too deeply into your own emptiness”
“I hate you,” I say, “and I hate this dog.” And then I’m crying because I don’t hate Poppy, and I don’t hate the dog, but I do fear my own emptiness.” (pg 158)
The existentialism. Overly philosophical books aren’t usually my brand, but this hit so hard. Here are three moments that had me exhaling heavily….
“I can see the end of art and culture and sometimes even human life if I’ve been scrolling through the right pages for long enough.” (pg 12)
“I just wanted an excuse to feel like the way I looked at the Internet was different than the way everyone else looked at the Internet: like the way I wasted my time was special.” (pg 181) …honestly friends, this is the exact feeling that drove me to start a Substack. Yikes.
“…I look at engagement rings in an incognito window dragged into the very corner of my screen and feel the trappings of my body sloop away as I stare at clusters of bright stones worth tens of thousands of dollars….I tell myself I’ll focus really well tomorrow; I’ll get all my tasks done, and I’ll feel in charge of my life as a worker. I’ll feel valuable to my workplace. Maybe I’ll start making smoothies with anti-inflammatory powders in them that’ll boost my concentration and my collagen. Maybe I’ll start taking folic acid every day. Maybe I’ll start a HIIT regimen. Maybe I’ll go to HIIT classes on my lunch breaks. Maybe I’ll only look at my phone for an hour in the morning and an hour at night. Maybe not even that…” (pg 155) Who among us hasn’t had this conversation with themselves? Be honest.
What I also loved, but will critique for the sake of having something to say:
The contemporary references: Worry is a time capsule. I loved the #tradwife, political names, and Lil Bub references, but they will inevitably date this book. It feels so hyper-relevant, that - at least for me and Talia - reading Worry was like an exorcism. All the worst parts of 2019 somehow shot out of my body and landed on these pages. Now I feel like I can put that fever dream away.
The ending: I get that the point was to leave me feeling unfulfilled, but the emptiness I felt after was TOO real.
Rating
I’m giving Worry 4.5 stars!
To be fair, I did round this up to 5 stars on Goodreads, but I’m shaving off half a point for the ending. I get why it finished in a moment of paralysis for Jules, but I wish the sisters had come to more blows before that point. I am also very anxious about what happened to the dog….
Regardless, I will be thinking about this one for a long time!
Worry should be mandatory reading for boomers with Millennial children (you might not get it, but this is how we feel!) and anyone whose phone has caused them hours of anxiety-filled inertia.
Also if you loved Girls ✅ , if you loved the sisters in Fleabag ✅, and if you sometimes look around and marvel at the absurdity of our existence ✅ - Read this book.
Last note: This is also a debut! You know I LOVE debuts! Alexandra Tanner, I can’t wait to read more! You’re amazing!
Our Next Chapter:
A friend (hi, Krista!) recently sent me this title:
Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk (translated by Heather Cleary) is a dual-timeline feminist vampire book about yearning. Say less!
I’ll be posting a full review on July 21st and you can read along with My Side Plot on Fable and Instagram
Also On My Shelf:
Dracula, Bram Stoker. I listened to this start-studded audiobook and thoroughly enjoyed myself the whole time. A classic that truly deserves to be a classic! One flag - the number of blood transfusions was insane. They were sharing blood like a blunt at a music festival. Not to poke holes in the medical elements of a book written in the 1800s, but still….
Swiped, L.M. Chilton. The blurb on the front cover says this book is “As if Bridget Jones found herself in a Scream film.” I guess I’m having a gory girl summer.
My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante (translated by Ann Goldstein). SO many people say they love this book, so I think I’m missing something… If you’re one of them, can you tell me why??? I found it boring. I found it wordy. I love a messy depiction of female relationships, but I think there are better versions than this (ie: Worry).
Epilogue:
What did you think!?!?
Which sister did you think was worse?
Are you following along on Fable??