Negative effects of technology, trauma, and Tyra Banks
Everything I read in January 🥀💾 ✏️🕵️♀️📸
Happy Sunday!
I am fresh off a beach vacation, feeling incredibly refreshed and (most importantly) incredibly tan.
There is nothing like salt water and sun to recharge the body, mind, and spirit.
Alas, I absent-mindedly used tap water to brush my teeth one night and paid the ultimate price of puking blue Gatorade into an airport garbage can.
We cannot know peace unless we also know suffering.
Onto the books
The theme of my January reading was ‘negative effects of technology, trauma, and Tyra Banks.”
Each horrors in their own right.
Each non-ideal beach reads.
What can I say? There is no setting in the world that will make me pick up another Colleen Hoover novel.
Conversely, I would sell my soul to spend a day observing Tyra Banks on the set of America’s Next Top Model…1
This woman! An enigma!! A master of torment!! A virtuoso of smizing!!!
And don’t get me started on SMiZE & DREAM Hot Mama Ice Cream…
I just got back from vacation and simply do not have the time or energy to figure out wtf Tyra is on about with her Australian “hot ice cream” venture.
It doesn’t make sense.
It will never make sense.
She is crazy, but she is free…
Fairy Dough Diva down.
🥀 Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil, V.E. Schwab ⭐️⭐️⭐️
A fantasy novel about toxic lesbian vampires
Listen. I love V.E. Schwab. Her podcast is a delight, and I have learned so much from it. However, I think it’s time for me to admit that her books are not for me.
There were moments of Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil that I loved: The characters were interesting, the line-level writing was vibey, and I appreciate any new take on vampire lore... That said, I don’t feel like the plot went anywhere interesting. This was a loooonnnggg 535 pages to have the ending rushed…And! For a book promising toxic queer vampires!! I wanted less backstory and more toxicity!
💾 Searches: Selfhood in the Digital Age, Vauhini Vara ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Creative non-fiction leveraging AI to explore how tech companies are reshaping human language(derogatory)
My first 5-star start of the year! This book is a masterpiece and deserves all of the awards! Part personal reflection, part tech history, part dialogue with ChatGPT. I’ve read memoirs about sexual assault, incest, and abuse. I’ve read bonkers erotica about doors and airplanes. I’ve read horror novels that describe cannibalism and torture in great detail. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is as vulnerable as dedicating an entire chapter to your Google searches… That is absurd. This is my history from the last few days, and I am deeply ashamed.
Predictably, Goodreads reviewers are already debating the ethics of using AI for a book… which is… exactly…the point??? Like, hello???
✏️ Half His Age, Jennette McCurdy ⭐️⭐️⭐
A lonely teenager pursues an affair with her creative writing teacher
Pretty yikes! Jenmette McCurdy’s pull-no-punches writing served her memoir, but for some reason, it felt gratuitous in this novel. Why is that? I’m not sure! This is a Lolita-esque story from a 17-year-old’s perspective, with the added elements of online shopping and TikTok. On paper, this is exactly the kind of book I’d love. In reality, I found the story more driven by shock value than emotion. I think that’s why it lost me, but I’m truly still trying to figure it out…If you’re keen to read this, I’d recommend starting with My Dark Vanessa instead.
🕵️♀️ The Return of Ellie Black, Emiko Jean ⭐️⭐️
A missing teenager is found alive after two years, but won’t tell anyone where she’s been.
Every year, someone tries to convince me that I secretly love thrillers.
Every year, we find ourselves in this exact moment, where I have to gently remind everyone that I do not.
Is it Emiko Jean’s fault that she’s writing in a genre I don’t like? No. But I’m giving this two stars because she almost had me! A lot of the plot hinges on Ellie Back navigating the trauma of what happened to her. She’s jumpy, confused, and non-cooperative with law enforcement. I liked the tension of a victim not wanting to pursue justice in favour of moving on (a real issue!!). BUT!!! Jean had to go and fill the end with a bunch of unnecessary, weird, and implausible twists! We didn’t need to do all that!! The hook was interesting enough!!! GAH! Why do thrillers insist on making me their enemy!!!!
📸 You Wanna Be on Top?: A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America’s Next Top Model, Sarah Hartshorne ⭐️⭐️⭐️
A tell-all memoir from the only “plus size” contestant from Cycle 9 of ANTM
This was exactly what I wanted and expected. Nothing more. Nothing less.
If you’re at all interested in the BTS of this show, give this audiobook a listen! Sarah reads it herself and is super charming to listen to.
Please keep in mind that I was obsessed with this show. It’s the reason I got a pixie cut in grade 8 (unfortunate). It contributed to all of my body image issues (doubly unfortunate). It single-handedly sparked an obsession with jeans and heels as my freshman
go-seeuniversity outfit of choice (unfortunate only because I could not walk in said heels…)As you already know from my Google history, I desperately want to be eyeballs-deep in an America’s Next Top Model rewatch (especially with the Netflix doc and counter-doc on the horizon). Sadly, none of the 12073,1831,00088 streaming services I pay for have it available…
Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink.
Last Thought:
An important addendum to my last essay:
Epilogue
What did you read this month?
Anything I should add to my TBR?
Do you know where I can watch ANTM cycles 1-10?????
Just because I hate beach reads doesn’t mean I hate trash!