Mama kudos for saying that. For spilling
Analyzing Drag Race poetry
Every so often I hear a phrase that rattles me to my core.
Something so cataclysmic that it lodges itself into my everyday vernacular.
Something so profound that I can’t help but quote it given the opportunity.
Something like…
“Ma’am I’m a Catholic slut,” written by Britney Spears in response to Diane Sawyer
“Who do you think you are I am,” screamed by this bowling champion
“This is the skin of a killer, Bella,” said by Robert Pattinson in Twilight
“Cola! Kirkland if you have,” from The Office as highlighted by Kristen Arnett
“High heels on my tippies,” rapped by Nikki Minaj
“It’s not called gym-nice-tics,” from Stick It
“My uncle Phil’s world’s largest ball of twine in Bundy Minnesota. It makes me proud I’m an American,” from Drop Dead Gorgeous
And so on, and so forth.
Last week’s episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race gave me a new one.
A contestant, Q, opened up about their HIV status in the Werk Room. She shared her experience with stigma, how challenging it’s been to find the courage to tell her parents, and how supportive her husband has been throughout the diagnosis.
After listening for a few minutes, a fellow contestant (and occasional season villain), Plane Jane responded, "Mama kudos for saying that. For spilling."
"Mama kudos for saying that. For spilling."
I swear my soul left my body when I heard her. I had to pause the show. I had to take a few deep breaths.
What a completely wild, out-of-pocket response to something so serious. Tonally, it feels the same as “That’s hot” or “Bless her heart.”
Is it demeaning? Yes! Dismissive? 1000%
And yet!
Plane Jane said it with such compassion! She responded to Q with complete sincerity and love. Despite the literal words, her reply seemingly came from a place of pure support.
In my heart, I believe Plane Jane was genuinely giving kudos to Q for saying that. For spilling.
For the past week, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s impossible to find a scenario where the phrase doesn’t work.
When a client gives me negative feedback on a proposal: “Mama kudos for sharing that. For spilling”
When Mark reminds me of chores I said I would do around the house: “Mama kudos for sharing that. For spilling”
When the cat meows for more food even though he’s been fed twice: “Mama kudos for sharing that. For spilling”
It’s practically a perfect sentence.
So perfect that fans have been using it to punch up iconic TV and film moments. For example:
What an improvement! What did he even say originally? It doesn’t matter now, because this is canon.
I didn’t think it was possible to make this scene from Fleabag any better, but here we are.
Oscar-worthy.
Despite the joy this sentence has brought me (and the internet), people have been quick to criticize Plane Jane. Many think she was rude and unserious in a moment that required delicacy.
I disagree. Not only was she as real as I think Plane can be (shade intended), but I don’t think the sentiment was bad.
Behind the slang, Plane is saying “Thank you for sharing.” Is that not validating? What else is there to say besides expressing gratitude for hearing someone's story? To give kudos, even.
A kudos which, I’ll argue, was a congratulation on Q’s bravery. If you’ve been watching this season, you know Plane is never one to volunteer compliments. You also know she always refers to other contestants as “sisters”.
In this moment, Plane chose “Mama” and“Kudos” intentionally. When assessing intent, these details matter.
It would have been stranger and more self-serving had she taken the opportunity to give an impassioned speech back to Q.
Let’s take this a step further (because why not)
What does it actually mean to “spill”?
Spilling tea is slang for sharing gossip. In a literal sense, it’s a pouring of information from one vessel to another.
You cannot spill with a closed or empty container.
Sharing something about yourself, therefore, requires openness and substance. Not everyone is capable of that kind of emotional flow. Plane, for example, has kept her feelings out of sight from the cameras and other contestants.
To spill is to be honest and maybe a little messy. It’s to risk splashing your vulnerabilities on someone else. It’s being a Tupperware full of soup in a backpack hoping that, when you inevitably explode, you won’t ruin anything important. It’s about picking a safe moment to empty your guts.
Having someone appreciate you for that spill is all you can ask for.
If we analyze it that way, Plane is saying
“Thank you for laying out your heart to me and for the world.”
Stunning.
Good writing is good editing, and she packed a punch with those seven words.
I’m being generous in my assessment because I have no idea what I would have said in that same scenario. Q’s story is gut-wrenching and a lot to process on National television while you’re getting ready to walk a runway in front of Ru Paul. I don’t think anyone can guarantee they’d say something better.
They definitely wouldn't have said something funnier.
Just when I thought this article was over, Miss Plane hit me with another flawless phrase.
In Friday’s episode, after Plane’s first emotional moment on the show (crying over how badly she wants to win Drag Race lol), she deflected attention off herself by saying, “I hate real moments boots.”
She’s unstoppable!! A poet! A philosopher!
Below is from a very helpful Reddit post on the definition of boots for those who don’t know:
Tacking boots to the end of a comment emphasizes the sentiment. As Bob the Drag Queen explained it to Vanity Fair, “In real life you would say, ‘This outfit is very fierce,’ but in drag you would say, ‘This outfit is fierce boots.’”
In the comment section, another user elaborates that “boots” is,”.. an adverbial modifier… analogous to sentential tags like, "totally", "for sure."“
With that understanding, “I hate real moments boots” is the perfect emphasis. It immediately strips the seriousness and emotionality of the moment away.
It’s a sentence palette cleanser.
Also! It’s further proof that her reaction to Q was totally genuine.
Did you know that Plane Jane hates real moments boots!?! No wonder “Mama kudos for saying that. For spilling” was the most authentic comment she had in her arsenal.
It’s all she could give.
It’s all there ever was.
And it’s all we ever needed.
🙏 Amen. Why do Mormons write such good YA fiction?
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🐉 My Side Plot Reminder! Next week we finish our reading of When Women Were Dragons
👚 The perfect shirt. I love. I want. I need.
What are some super niche quotes that you use all the time?