Every year, I write a summer bucket list.
Every year, I promptly forget that list exists.
I cannot be held accountable for who I was three months ago.
Moment to moment, I am reborn!
Like a nasty little mayfly.
We truly never know who is writing this newsletter, and that’s part of the fun.
But, since hoa-hoa-hoa season officially starts tomorrow, today we’ll be revisiting everything I said I would do.
My 2025 summer bucket list evaluation:
Take a painting class ✅
I’m giving myself this point on a technicality. There are no rules here! I am both teacher and student! If you don’t like this loosey-goosey rubric, you are in the wrong place! I signed up for an oil and acrylic class that starts next month, which 100000% counts! We all know signing up is the hardest part anyway. Now I have to go, and by December, this will be a full-fledged obsession if not a mania-induced side hustle. Stay tuned.
Redo our shed ❌
Rotting is cool now, anyway. Very laissez-faire. Very grunge-chic.
Go bird watching ✅
I didn’t go bird watching per se, but I did see birds. At what point does watching a bird transcend into ‘bird watching’ anyway? What about all the videos of budgies dancing on my newsfeed? There are simply too many unanswered questions to deny myself this point. On several occasions, I found myself saying “oh look at that one!” or “what kind of bird makes that noise?” and that feels like the right amount of entry-level interest to warrant a pass.
Wear a tight little skirt for no other reason than to show skin ❌
This is an upset. We were all rooting for this one. I did buy an aggressively small denim skirt from Value Village that, in the moment, felt correct. Upon reflection, there are very few moments in your thirties where a teeny tiny micro mini denim skirt can be worn nonchalantly. Or maybe I just didn’t leave my house enough. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, or whatever…
Don’t be self-conscious while wearing said skirt ✅
Despite my skirtless summer, this specific list item has appeared in various forms over the last few years. It harkens back to a deep insecurity about my legs, which has finally quelled to a normal-probably-still-not-healthy-but-totally-manageable level of self-criticism. A win is a win!
Throw a hissy fit about chores ✅
Every list needs a gimme. This was my free square.
Do not, under any circumstances, check out the cart that I’ve built on Ardene ✅
I don’t even remember what was in this cart, and that’s a lesson for everyone to take a few deep breaths before buying anything. Maybe go for a walk. Forget who you are. Observe a bird in a non-official bird-watching manner. Then come back and see if you still care at all (spoiler alert, you probably will not!)
Upcycle a thrift find ✅
My bag of scraps and “sewing” Pinterest board have reached new heights! So far I have hemmed a pair of pants (which totally counts!!), but I have far-off dreams to create more innovative and Frankenstein-ed items such as:
Patron a local kid-owned lemonade stand ❌
I have no excuse for this. I’ve passed several, and each time I turn my music up and cross the street like I’m avoiding a preacher at Yonge-Dundas Square. What is with that? Is it because I never have cash? Because of inflation? Do tariffs affect lemonade stands??? Is the economy so bad that I’m viewing children as money-hungry leeches??? Am I just a monster? I don’t know, but I’m deeply concerned about my behaviour. Where has my sense of whimsy gone!?!
Move our cat from room to room so he can hang out with me all day ✅
Another easy win.
Push my bedtime to 11pm ✅
She’s wild now, y’all. I don’t even get drowsy until 10:30pm. Watch out.
Revisit my favourite children’s books ❌
Honestly, this is a super cute thought until you’re alone at the children’s section of the library, feeling like a creep and a book hog. I’ll wait until I have kids to do this specific jog down memory lane.
Independently republish Lorelei ❌
Merp. I dropped the ball here. Revisiting old work is tough. Promoting is even harder. Maybe I should cut my losses and consider any remaining copies extremely limited edition????? What do you think?
Host an outdoor movie night ❌
Joke’s on me! I didn’t host anything! Everyone stay away!!! I’m busy hating on children and casually glancing at birds, apparently.
Wear or give away every single dress in my closet ✅
My donation bag is bursting! Someone please host a clothing swap before I start changing my mind and putting things back in my closet…
Incorporate more pops of red into my wardrobe ✅
Evidence:
red pants, red bikini, red nails, red lips Crush my dance show ✅
Upon seeing me perform, my mother lovingly (and correctly) referred to me as a “phone whore.” I love the camera, and the camera loves me 😘
Lose my voice at the Kesha concert ✅
I didn’t just lose my voice. I lost my damn mind at this show. Read more here👇
Go to the zoo ❌
When I say we talked about this once a week and still have not gone….I miss the day of mandatory field trips. How do we bring that back?
Update my Substack and website ❌
Welp. Listen… I have a vision for this, and art takes time! I’ll get to it, I promise…
Avoid naps at all costs ✅
Damn straight.
Wear a dangly belly button ring with a crop top ✅
I am a queen, and my belly ring is my crown.
Bake in the sun in a bright red bathing suit ✅
A phone whore and a beach whore!
Dust the baseboards ✅
I am constantly thinking about 2 million things at once, and none of them have been or will ever be my baseboards. I’ve accepted this, and I’m still giving myself a point because Mark did them instead. Marriage has perks, and this is one of them! What’s mine is yours.
Run through a sprinkler ❌
For real, my whimsy is on death’s door! I need a real manic pixie dream girl to guide me out of this funk.
Pick a favourite painting at the museum ❌
Again, how do we get field trips going? Do you think we could run them like a book club? Maybe I should send a Partiful?
Skip rocks with my husband ❌
Damn. This would have been cute.
Share my writing without stress and shame ❌
Listen. This might just not be in the cards for me. Shame is just part of my whole vibe and demeanour! Time to embrace it! I am cringe, and I am NOT free! I am shackled to my own self-criticism! I write from a place of deep fear and discomfort, and that’s what makes it relatable.
Have a karaoke night ❌
Was really hoping this would happen organically, but now I must take matters into my own hands…
Get my novel draft ready for beta readers this fall ✅
I am so close. SO CLOSE! Of everything I did this summer, I’m most proud of my morning routine. I spent 30-60 minutes on this project every day before work. Has the blog suffered? Maybe! But it’s for my art, and you should all be happy for me!!!
Rapid-fire bonus points!
A few summer moments I could not have predicted, but should get extra credit for.
Wearing a balloon hat (okay, some whimsy is alive and well…)
Getting a bob. Not only is this adorable, but it’s forcing me to wash my hair more, and that’s a win for everyone.
Making a charm necklace
Renting a ridiculous ball gown for a wedding
Joining a book club (that does read the book!)
Switching shirts at a bar
Starting and immediately giving up on Kayla Itsines’ BBG program. You know the one. It traumatized all of us. Nostalgia gripped me in the weirdest way, and my knees suffered for it….
Taking a bite out of a cake. No hands. Just a straight-up chomp.
Being the recipient of this text:
Also this one:
Wearing a fake mustache out for two nights in a row.
Convincing a group of people in their thirties to try to run like a horse on all fours
Getting out of an upcoming work trip because I have Addison Rae tickets
Grappling with the mixed emotions of loving Robert Irwin, but hating the predatory older woman he brings out in me
Final grade 31/30
An above-perfect score!! Who could have predicted that???? Even with all the stuff I didn’t get to?? Crazy.
Last Thought
