Happy Labour Day!
I hope you’re doing, enjoying, or admiring some hard work today.
That’s what this holiday is all about, right?1
Speaking of labour, no one is working harder than the Dancing With The Stars social media team.
They have been slowly trying to convert me into a fan over the last three seasons, and I fear this most recent cast announcement has finally convinced me…
Is the show getting cooler?
Or am I just getting older?
A question that keeps me up at night.
Regardless, I am overjoyed to see a Savannah Banana hitting the stage. I love these theatrical men with their super tight yellow pants and choreographed routines.
This is what sports should be!!!!
Onto the books….
The theme of my summer reading was “that feels a little heavy for the beach, no?”
In typical Jamie fashion, I couldn’t stop myself from bringing the darkest, most depraved titles to the lake.
I yam who I yam.
In retrospect, some lighter material would have been nice!
Maybe y’all are onto something with these fast-paced, feel-good stories. Summer 2027 will be a romance marathon of epic proportions.
Alas, today we are stuck reviewing a swath of social commentary novels...
As part of the process, I’m giving everything my normal star rating with an added “beachibility” section to help you figure out where it would be best to read each book.
💻 Moderation, Elaine Castillo ⭐️⭐️⭐️
A workplace romance set in virtual reality
This is technically a romance, but the main character is a content moderator who specializes in child pornography cases. Not exactly light! Overall, this was pretty fun and weird, but I wish it spent less time on the love story and more time diving into the horrors of moderating online activity.
BEACHIBILITY: Perfect for a sad, hungover pool morning in Vegas.
🃏 Arcana Academy, Elise Kova⭐️⭐️
Enemies to lovers in a school system where tarot cards unlock magic power
I had high hopes for this, but there were a lot of magic rules that I didn’t grasp. Maybe I’m dumb???? Or maybe the world-building is chaotic at best. This whole thing felt like bootleg Harry Potter with sex and tarot cards. There’s a market for that! It just isn’t me.
BEACHIBILITY: Bring this to a wellness retreat with that one girl you know who does tarot readings. Maybe she can explain the magic system to you!
🇺🇸 Murder Bimbo, Rebecca Novack ⭐️⭐️
A sex worker turned political assassin tells her side of the story through letters to a feminist podcast.
Based on this Goodreads review, you’d think I’d love this. A lesbian Luigi Mangione-type kills a Trumpian political leader and tries to sway public opinion via an alt-left podcast. Hello?!!?! What a hook!
Sadly, Murder Bimbo is a thriller, which means the author forced a twist into an already preposterous premise. I simply will never understand why thriller authors insist on cheapening great stories with a “gotcha!” gimmick…Despite this, I appreciate any book bold enough to tackle this question:
BEACHIBILITY: This is a beach read for freaks, but not my kind of freaks. Freaks of the Florida variety, maybe? But who still have left-leaning values… As I’m spitballing, I’m realizing the audience for this title is extremely niche. If you’re doing roller derby in Tallahassee, try this and tell me what you think.
🪰 Fruit Fly, Josh Silver⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A has-been author tries to force herself back into the zeitgeist by appropriating a young gay man’s tragic story.
Now this was for my kind of freaks! I would even classify this as a thriller (I KNOW!!), but it belongs on the shelf between two of my all-time favs: Yellowface and She’s a Lamb. Fruit Fly is slightly more grounded in its satire, but only because our main character is so unbelievably depressed. This quote alone is worth 4 stars.
BEACHIBILITY: Bring this to a beach with a bunch of rocks in your pockets and every intention of wading out to sea.
☢️ Radicalized, Cory Doctorow ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Four novellas about America written in 2019 that have all now come to pass…
These stories were really good in a way that feels really bad…. Turns out Cory Doctorow is a prophetic witch. Burn him!!!
BEACHIBILITY: Perfect for the most polluted beach you can think of.
👩❤️👨 Skin Contact, Elisa Faison ⭐️⭐️⭐️
A short story collection surrounding one couple’s open marriage. What could go wrong???
Poly propaganda will not work on me, but there were moments in this that I really appreciated. For example, every story hinges on a moment of physical contact that is very seldom sexual. If there’s one thing I love, it’s a theme!
BEACHIBILITY: Take this to a topless beach, especially if you’re looking to strike out with a couple.
🌳The Magicians, Lev Grossman ⭐️⭐️⭐️
A depressed high schooler ditches university to enroll in a secret magical school.
Another wannabe Harry Potter series, but a much more successful one! The magic made sense, the characters all had existential dread, and the grittiness made the world more dangerous and fun. That said, this was written in 2009, and boy did it feel like it!!! I really enjoyed the first half (minus the few “edgy” gay jokes…), but then Lev went off the wall with a “Narnia is real” plotline that didn’t quite land for me. This is part of a trilogy, and, you know what, I probably will see it through.
BEACHIBILITY: A great read for Loch Ness, whether you see the monster or not.
🌙 Our Share of Night, Mariana Enriquez - DNF
A multigenerational horror novel about a cult.
The first book I’ve given up on in years. This was so slow and so long, and I’m trying to understand how and why the Goodreads comment section is convinced it’s a masterpiece. I feel like I have to finish, but I’m 343 pages in2 and reading it feels a lot like this:
BEACHIBILITY: Don’t bring this to a beach! Lug it to a cemetery.
Last Thought:
Epilogue
What did you read this month?
Anything I should add to my TBR?
Right!?!?
342 of 588….
You have such eclectic taste! This summer I empowered myself to close a book that didn’t engage me. How freeing!
I have Arcana Academy and based on your description I think I’ll like it lol