Another totally normal summer bucket list

Olivia summer, here we come 🐷

Jun 15, 2025

Summer is finally here!

I spent last Saturday at the beach, scrolling Pinterest just like God intended.

Between the usual skinny women calling dishrags “outfits” and AI-generated slop, my feed is surging with summer 2025 list — What to wear. What to eat. What to do.

This year, none of it feels cohesive — Flowy skirts. Tomato salads. Hikes…

We’re missing a summer theme.

Hot Girl Summer begot Barbie Summer begot Brat Summer begot… ????

We are at a crossroads.

Confused.

Directionless.

It’s June 15th, and we should already be stuffing our wardrobes with hot pink or booger green to be the best seasonal Barbie-brat we can be!

Without an official title, how will I know if I’m doing summer correctly???

Who is going to give me a grade!?!?!

Someone has to be brave enough to appoint 2025 with a name!?!

… Fine, I’ll do it.

We need something edgy.

New.

Maybe nostalgic?

Something that speaks to fun for the whole family, but also leaves room for cute party outfits.

Something for the girls.

In desperation, I turned to Google. I’m not sure that it understood the nuance of my question, but it told me that “Olivia” is the #1 ranked 2025 summer name.

Well, okay then, Olivia Summer.

I can work with that!

But which Olivia to choose? Rodrigo?? Munn??? Newton-John????

That could mean any number of summers!!

Teen rock star summer…

Stealing from the rich summer…

Succumbing to 1950s peer pressure summer…

I asked Google for more guidance. What are the traits of an Olivia? According to the AI overview:

Olivia is a high-energy, imaginative piglet who embraces a wide range of activities and experiences, all while navigating the demands of her family life.
Olivia, while sometimes brattish, is ultimately endearing due to her charm, creativity, and unwavering enthusiasm for life.

Ah. I remember this diva.

The Charli xcx of children’s books:

Olivia the pig is about saying ‘yes’ to new things.

She is booked and busy.

She is wearing micro-minis that show off her curly tail.

She is giving everyone attitude.

To quote Shakespeare, a brat by any other name would slay as hard.

Olivia is ushering in another summer of chaotic, lawless behaviour — only this time with a wholesome, kid-friendly exterior.

It’s an entire summer of I think about it all the time!

It’s brat and it’s completely different but also still brat!!

This little piggy wants to get rowdy!!!

And I’m starting the best way I know how: making a list.

My 2025 Olivia summer bucket list

Take a painting class
1. Admittedly, not the wildest start to this list, but an Olivia-approved hobby:
Redo our shed
1. The housework doesn’t just stop for the summer... This is what “navigating the demands of family life” looks like!
Go bird watching
1. 365 party girl was hyperbolic, and you know it! For Olivia summer, we’re prioritizing daytime activities, too.
Wear a tight little skirt for no other reason than to show skin
1. Preferably while bumping this track:
Don’t be self-conscious while wearing said skirt
1. Olivia, a literal pig, is not concerned about her body. Cellulite does not phase her. She’s in her tiny tutus, serving poses. She’s demanding that her mom take her picture. She’s free.
~~Throw a hissy fit about chores~~
1. Nice to cross something off the list early.
Do not, under any circumstances, check out the cart that I’ve built on Ardene
1. Olivia would never be a slave to the fast fashion machine, nor would she have access to a credit card…
Upcycle a thrift find
1. This is like adult dress-up! It’s also a great alternative to my online shopping temptation...
Patron a local kid-owned lemonade stand
1. A reminder to support local, small businesses (even if they directly oppose child labour laws)!
~~Move our cat from room to room so he can hang out with me all day~~
1. Another easy win
Push my bedtime to 11pm
1. The ultimate Olivia task, and an ongoing mental fight with myself
Revisit my favourite children’s books
1. For the nostalgia and inspiration.
Independently republish Lorelei
1. The best way to honour a children’s book diva is by unleashing another one into the universe.
Host an outdoor movie night
1. But like an edgy, cool movie. Something pg 13 at least.
Wear or give away every single dress in my closet
1. Lots to learn from this approach to building outfits:
Incorporate more pops of red into my wardrobe
1. Self explanatory
Crush my dance show
1. No tutus, sadly, but lots of brat-adjacent strutting. (Come watch me perform!)
Lose my voice at the Kesha concert
1. This is practically a guarantee and another excuse to celebrate an icon from my childhood. Fellow Animals, where you at?
Go to the zoo
1. Real animals, where you at?
Update my Substack and website
1. I’ve been procrastinating this all year, but Olivia is all about creative reinvention
Avoid naps at all costs
1. Anyone who knows me knows I’m anti-nap, and Olivia gets it. They make me groggy!! They mess with my regular sleep!!! You can’t tell me what to do!!!
Wear a dangly belly button ring with a crop top
1. The modern-day princess crown
Bake in the sun in a bright red bathing suit
1. Slut alert!
Dust the baseboards
1. The demands of family life are ever-present.
Run through a sprinkler
1. How quirky and cute! The ultimate activity for kids and manic pixie dream girls.
Pick a favourite painting at the museum.
Skip rocks with my husband
1. This one is just nice, wholesome, family time.
Share my writing without stress and shame
1. Self-promotion is a core pillar of Olivia-ness, and one that I need to work on…
Have a karaoke night
1. Also self-explanatory
Get my novel draft ready for beta readers this fall
1. Gah! Last year, my goal was 50,000 words. Today I’m at 75,000 and deep in the pits of revision hell…If you want to be one of my first readers, sound off in the comments.