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Happy Hump Day!

I come bearing bad(ish) news.

Just like Kate Middleton, your Hump Day Quickies are disappearing for the foreseeable future.

I know, I know…How will you go on without my weekly recommendations?

I’m honestly not sure.

What I do know is that I’ve been over-extending myself to bring you these curated lists. For the sake of my calendar, we’re all going to have to make peace with one post a week.

@ieucookeand then I’d drop the docuseries & graham norton exclusive tell all #foryou

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These quickies have been fun. They’ve been random. They’ve been almost 3 years of my life!

Instead of sourcing, reading, and summarizing articles, I’ll use the time to work on other writing (including the second draft of my novel - gah!).

And, because I’m incapable of NOT sharing strange internet culture, expect a few quick hits to show up in my Sunday essays and My Side Plot posts.

In summary:

So I need more time to make it!

xoxo,

Your fave side piece

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The Answer To Loneliness? For These Women, It’s Book Clubs, Refinery29. Book clubs are great. Learning! Friendship! A shared activity! The best part of this article though, is the name of the featured club. It’s HardBack Out Here, I am your biggest fan.

From 'Lolita' To Dakota Johnson's Book Club: A Brief Look At Beauty's Relationship To Literature, The Unpublishable. A nerdy deep dive deep into book beauty trends and the aesthetic of reading. I love this Substack, and I particularly love Defino’s synopsis of Lolita: “In the book, Humbert claims Lolita seduces him, and Nabokov provides enough context that readers with basic comprehension skills can see this isn’t true.”

The Far Right Thinks Sydney Sweeney Killed Wokeness, Slate. How? With those juicy, juicy jugs, of course!!

“Are Sydney Sweeney’s breasts double-D harbingers of the death of woke?” asked Canada’s National Post. The U.K.’s Spectator did less beating around the bush, writing: “Yay! Boobs are back!” The conversation played out on X, formerly known as Twitter, as well, with a well-known anti-woke champion posting a clip of Sweeney accompanied only by the words “Wokeness is dead,” as if it were the most obvious thing in the world that wokeness and décolletage cannot coexist.

‘I didn’t realise I was so loved’: the people hosting their own ‘living funerals,’ The Guardian. I’m obsessed with this idea and think everyone should host their own celebration of life. Special shout out to Rob (33) who hit us with the most relatable pull quote: ‘If people are going to say nice things about me, I’d rather hear it.’

RuPaul Doesn’t See How That’s Any of Your Business, The New Yorker. A fabulous interview, and a treasure trove of quotes. For example:

“Parents teaching their kids about safe spaces, and ‘I feel uncomfortable’ . . . It’s, like, You know what? The world is not a safe space. You have to find the comfort. It’s mostly uncomfortable.” He told me that he has never wanted children. “I don’t like kids,” he said flatly.

Also:

“I would love to have more fun,” he told me. “I would love to go to a fucking roller disco. Why aren’t there fucking roller discos? What’s the deal? People have lost track of what’s really fun.” 

Most importantly, this:

“That’s why hallucinogens are so wonderful. Because your self-consciousness is stripped away when you’re tripping your balls,” he said. The spiritual guru he finds most influential, he said, is “my fucking idol, Bugs Bunny. Who is a fucking Zen master.” His teachings: “Don’t take other people too serious. And stay ahead of their stupidity. If you have to, build a fucking compound somewhere, but stay ahead of their own self-destructive, ridiculous mentality.”

Now that I think about it, Ru Paul kind of is Bugs Bunny. What a revelation! I will never unsee it. Can I get an Amen up in here???

• 🎤Aww. 10-year-old North West announces Elementary School Dropout

• ⛳️ The perfect office activity: Wordle Golf

• 📚 Dramione Drama. Etsy sellers are binding fanfiction without author permission

• 🧼 R.I.P. It’s suddenly much harder to get hot at The Body Shop

• 🧩 My kind of fun! Big screen crossword parties

A lunch delivery at an animal shelter turned into the perfect meet cute 🐾

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Please always send me your theories.

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Gen Alpha says names like Amanda, Ashley, and Erica are the new 'old people' names, BI. This one hurts. It hurts so bad. "My daughter told me a kid in her class has a dad name," one user commented. "Kid's name is Josh."

How ‘She’s Not a Girl’s Girl’ Became the Worst Insult, Elle. Another day, another way women aren’t measuring up! As a girlie who loves a silly little TikTok trend, this post really made me think. Is it cute to be “a girl’s girl?” or is this “the latest reiteration of slut-shaming”?

Playmates and Playdates: Lorraine Nicholson’s Childhood at the Playboy Mansion, Vanity Fair. The title says it all.

“…maybe not tomorrow, or even the next day, but someday, I would become something so horrible that even today the memory brings shivers down my spine. I was becoming a woman.”

We have entered the era of the personality hat, The Cereal Aisle. I am not a hat person, but I love this Substack. I also love this take! What an era to coin! I hope everyone feels empowered to buy themselves a funky little hat after this read. “…a swim cap says I’m not scared of uncharted waters (see what I did here?)…But also: I’m not trying to swim.”

Full Of Themselves: An Analysis of Title Drops in Movies: In honour of The Oscars, this is a full data set on how many movies reference their own name in the script. Enjoy!

“There have been analyses and oh so so many listicles of the title drop phenomenon before, but they are small and anecdotal. Here's the first extensive analysis of title drops for a dataset of 73,921 movies that amount to roughly 61% of movies on IMDb with at least 100 user votes”

• 🛝 Scandalous! The definitive ranking of all the Ashleys from Recess

• 🍪“Me hate shrinkflation” - Cookie Monster on the US economy

• 🍿Showtime: Where to watch all the Best Picture nominees

• 🌸 Spring cleaning: Twenty decluttering tips to get ahead of the season.

• 👚 Lol. Drew Barrymore’s Daughter used her mom’s Playboy cover to justify wearing a crop top.

This turtle showing off her fresh set:

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My Side Plot

The votes are in! Our next book club pick is When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill.

We’ll crack this baby open on Friday (for International Women’s Day, duh!), and stay tuned for our full reading schedule on Fable!

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• Teen Subcultures Are Fading. Pity the Poor Kids. NYT Magazine

  The kids are lonely, and all their subcultures are surface-level. They have “cottagecore” and “mob wife aesthetic,” but they’re missing out on the shared experiences that used to define teen groups. No more ultra-underground punk rock shows. No more smoker’s pit shenanigans. No more “this one time at band camp.” No more Twilight book release parties (lol yes I went to those).

  As with much of today’s popular culture (say, A.S.M.R. hair-brushing or pimple-popping videos), the level of specificity and intimate itch-scratching here feels a lot like porn — another extension of the internet’s ability to service niche desires. And in terms of their enhancement of human experience, many aesthetics seem to offer about as much as porn does: a fleeting personal pleasure to be had mainly alone.

• Hopecore and Kidfluencers, Afterschool

  This is all one big “yikes.” Read with caution.

  But childhood Disney stardom is very different than posing in a skimpy bikini as a third grader to post on social media and then having your parents sell that bikini to a man on the internet.

• Why Are There So Many Snakes? Popular Science

  The age-old question posed by Samuel L. Jackson (and a lot of scientists, probably.) I am enthralled by this deep dive on “the snake explosion”- a.k.a. the singular event where all these legless buddies came from. I specifically would love to know where this giant has been. How did we miss that thing?? To sum up the entire article, “Snakes are special and weird.”

• This Might Be the Best 'Love Is Blind' Episode of All Time, Hung Up

  I’m once again sharing a Hunter Harris post about Love is Blind. She really nailed it with her breakdown of Episode 8. This sentence in particular made me laugh out loud:

  Chelsea complains about not getting enough affection, claiming she received none, while acknowledging that maybe she did get between one and three kisses.

  Also this:

  Everything about presentation and expectation and the “blind” part of the Love Is Blind experiment get bundled together in one woman’s anxious self-image….But it doesn’t matter if Chelsea looks kinda like Megan Fox or that “People say I look like Megan Fox” conjures a very specific image of a very specific pinup — Transformers-Megan Fox, GQ-Megan Fox, aughts male fantasy-Megan Fox — that even the real Megan Fox does not match. But everyone has opinions about it and can react to it. The Megan Fox-of-it-all has ramifications that ripple throughout the season.

• 🧠 The end is nigh! How to stop catastrophizing

• 🌈 Wardrobe hack: Outfit formulas based on winning colour combinations

• 🎀 Need more subcultures? Check out the rabbit hole that is Aesthetics Wiki

• 💰Yer a collectable, Harry. This proof copy of Harry Potter is auctioning for $20K

• 🐷 Oink! Cuddle with pigs in this Japanese cafe (pictures included)

This one might be niche, but the picture of Barry Keoghan drinking out of a Buffy mug in a slutty red latex outfit has brought me immense joy. It is perfection. I’ve been thinking about it all week. Possibly too much. Possibly not enough.

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The only thing I know for sure is that W Magazine fully understood who they were baiting with this photo series (me) and I am not ashamed to be one of their victims.

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I mean come on.

Chicago Rat Hole nails. The internet is a wonderful and scary place.

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• Love Is Blind Season Six Reveals, Ranked, Hung Up

  If you aren’t watching, why aren’t you watching? This show has taken over my newsfeed, thoughts, and weekday evenings. I couldn’t agree more with Hunter Harris’ take:

  “I will tolerate one real deal, we found love in a hopeless place-couple on Love Is Blind. (Tiffany and Brett, Lauren and Cameron, and maybe even Barnett and Amber².) I require two or three disastrously mismatched, comically not-in-love, cataclysmically oh-she-just-got-the-ick couples.”

• The Woman Who Spent 500 Days In a Cave, NYT

  This is at once the most and least relatable story I’ve ever read, and I cannot stop thinking about this woman’s descent into madness inside the cave.

  Her basic goal remained intact: to neither see nor speak to another human being for five hundred days. She didn’t even want to see her own face.

  …There came a moment, she told me, when she thought that she was dying. It felt like an act not of suicide but of release: “There was no difference between what I was feeling then and what I understand as death.”

• Toni Breidinger: The NASCAR Racer With a Victoria’s Secret Side Hustle, Nylon

  Shake and bake, baby! Your daily reminder that people contain multitudes.

  “…people just can’t wrap their minds around someone doing something outside of the box. Seeing something that hasn’t been done before almost scares some people.”

• Ask Ugly: I’m Addicted to Lip Balm, The Guardian

  Girl, same. I’m never more than a foot away from my Vaseline, and this article really tripped me up. Like I knew, but I didn’t know (you know)?

  “That lip balm requires constant reapplication doesn’t strike consumers as a product flaw, but as an opportunity to fulfill their personal purpose: buying stuff.”

• 🤠 Yeehaw! I guess we’re all country fans now

• 🙈 Lol. JT please just stop

• 🍚 Wet phone? Apparently rice isn’t the answer

• 🍕Yelp! The top 100 pizza spots in the US

• 🧚‍♀️ She was a fairy…a Pink Fairy (aka the world’s smallest armadillo)

• 🦷 That bites. Not even the tooth fairy is safe from inflation

  ---

This couple built a wildflower meadow in their backyard, and the bees are thriving!

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Happy love day! I hope you’re feeling romantic. If you aren’t, this Make Out Jams playlist might do the trick💋

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• Both Sides Of A Breakup, the cut

  This is one of my fave sections of The Cut (and perfect for Valentine’s!). These entries are filled with drama, heartbreak, and some insane meet cutes like this one:

  Jessa: He gets arrested. His cousin is like, “Can I get your number?” I was like, “No. But you can give me Charles’s number.” A few hours later, the police officer contacted us and was like, “Someone has to get him.” I’m like, “I’ll go pick him up.” I had my car at the dock. So I let myself sober up, then I went to get him.

  Charles: An Uber pulls up and who’s in it but the pretty girl I’d been ignoring all afternoon.

• The Surreal Life of a Professional Bridesmaid, the hustle

  Not all heroes wear capes. This one wears overpriced chiffon gowns.

  Making friends, maintaining friends is really hard,” she says. “I think people are lonelier than ever.”

  And that’s what Glantz is really selling: a support system. A friend-meets-therapist-meets-assistant who will always text you back and can weather any crisis, from holding another bridesmaid’s hair back as she pukes to running interference between divorced parents reuniting for the first time, no matter how mentally, physically, or emotionally exhausting.

• America is Facing a 'Fringe Friend' Crisis, business insider

  On the topic of being lonely…

  These are the people you see only at parties but are always happy to chat with. The people who you see at the local watering hole every so often, and maybe challenge to a game of darts. The people who ended up in your orbit by proximity — the ones who rode the subway to work with you at the same time every day or waited next to you for their morning coffee. Have you seen any of those people in recent years?

  …In some ways, these weak social ties are even more important than our intimate friendships and relationships that we have because they connect us to a wider world

• David Milch’s Disembodied Writing Process, subtle maneuvers

  This one isn’t love-related, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I think he’s on to something.

  “I find that by writing out in the open, I am less likely to, for example, begin to write the same sentence a thousand times, or hang upside-down like a bat in the corner of the room, you know, or smoke crack.”

• 🌹Nothing says romance like… These relatable Valentine’s for the 30+ crowd

• 💸 Score! The dating app that includes credit scores

• 🥵Yeah Yeah Yeah. The clip of Usher taking his shirt off at the Super Bowl (you’re welcome)

• 💕 Stunning: Red and pink outfit inspo for your Valentine’s Day

• 👍 Lonely Likes Club. Gen Z’s are posting friendship applications on Facebook

• 🎶 Unlikely couple. I’m formally requesting that these two make an album

• 🛁 Love in this tub. A couple remodelling their bathroom found decades-old love letters in the walls

  ---

No plans tonight? No problem! Check out this article with 99 solo date ideas from The Good Trade.

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• Everyone’s a Sellout Now, Vox

  I have been reeling over this article for days. It perfectly captures the stress of being an artist in 2024, the shackles of “personal branding,” and why this Substack (and book club and TikTok account…) exists. Highly highly highly recommend.

  The internet has made it so that no matter who you are or what you do — from nine-to-five middle managers to astronauts to house cleaners — you cannot escape the tyranny of the personal brand. 

  And one more quote about posting on social:

  ….You’ve got to spend your time doing this even though it’s corny and cringe and your friends from high school or college will probably laugh as you “try to become an influencer.” You’ve got to do it even when you feel like you have absolutely nothing to say, because the algorithm demands you post anyway. You have to do it even if you’re from a culture where doing any self-promotion is looked upon as inherently negative, or if you’re a woman for whom bragging carries an even greater social stigma than it already does. You’ve got to do it even though the coolest thing you can do is not have to.

• Elmo Asked People Online How They Were Doing. He Got An Earful, KSL

  If you haven’t seen this yet, you’re welcome.

  “Elmo each day the abyss we stare into grows a unique horror. one that was previously unfathomable in nature. our inevitable doom which once accelerated in years, or months, now accelerates in hours, even minutes. however I did have a good grapefruit earlier, thank you for asking.”

  My favourite part was how Elmo replied:

• Cosmetics ≠ Clothing, The Unpublishable

  I love this Substack about the beauty industry, and this nugget really stuck with me:

  Wearing clothing (primarily) began as a matter of health and safety — a need. It evolved into a method of expression. Wearing cosmetics (primarily) began as a method of expression — a want. Health and wellbeing claims came later as a way to justify the space cosmetics take up in our lives.

• The Bland Allure of Hailey Bieber, Vox

  While we’re on the topic of beauty: “…it’s fascinating watching a new, seemingly more progressive generation embrace a bland uniformity at the expense of individuality.”

• How Emily Weiss is Fixing Glossier, Financial Times

  Lastly, a profile on the girl bossiest startup to ever #girlboss (and where the company is heading now)

  “I naively assumed that the beauty industry would be more female-led, and it was astonishing. Looking at the top 20 beauty companies in Europe, only three of them are led by a woman. The lack of representation [at the top] in a $500bn industry that has been built around women looking and feeling a certain way is shocking.” 

• ✂️ Snip snip! How Gen Z, Millennials, and Gen X really feel about plastic surgery

• 🎶 Lol. UMG took their music off TikTok, and fans are singing over videos instead

• 🍃 That’s nice. A feel-good post about Yutori to remind you to slow down

• 🎧 Shake it out. Florence & The Machine will feature on Taylor Swift’s new album

• 🐑 Ph-ewe! Thank god this criminal was caught

• 🦜 Pon De Replay. This parrot loves Rihanna

  ---

  

This real-life pet detective reunited 330 lost dogs with their owners 🕵️‍♀️🐕

Our Next My Side Plot Book!

A lot of you are annoyed that I finished our first book club book so fast. My bad! I got excited.

Don’t worry though - we’ll only be reading one book a month so everyone can finish on time. Plus, our Ghosts discussion on Fable is always available for you to come back to.

Ready to see our February pick!?!? Drum roll, please…

This book won my Instagram poll by a landslide!

Tomorrow, and Tomorrrow, and Tomorrow has been on so many “best of” lists and has been sitting on my TBR forever. Can’t wait to dive in with all of you! 🌊

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• Britney Spears’ 2011 Song, ‘Selfish’, Just Beat Justin Timberlake’s New Single, Glamour

  Britney’s Army has done it again. Justin’s new release (and tragic attempt at a comeback) was surpassed on the charts by a 13-year-old Femme Fatale bonus track of the same name. Not only did the song reach the top 5 on US iTunes, it also hit #1 in at least 9 countries. 100% Justified.

  While we’re on the topic of Justin Timberlake, now is as good a time as any to revisit this ruthless (and correct) Pitchfork review of Man of the Woods:

  It’s remarkable how few ideas are contained within this hour-plus Blue Ridge Mountains mood board of an album. Man of the Woods is a misstep large enough to merit relitigating Justin Timberlake’s status as a pop superstar.

  …When you skate through your life unscathed, you accumulate hubris. And it takes a lot of hubris to make an album like Man of the Woods.

• Why Does Gen Z Believe It’s ‘Aging Like Milk’? New York Times

  Timely, considering my post on Sunday. “There is a sense in which young people have forgotten what faces look like.”

• 'Hot guy books' Are the Hot New Accessory, GQ

  A comprehensive list of the sexiest books to carry around this year.

  ..carrying around classic novels doesn’t just give models an aura of intellectual chic – regular civilians are now doing it too, as a kind of brainy thirst trap. An article in Bustle last September reported on men ditching selfies with puppies to pose with female-coded books by the likes of Sally Rooney and Ottessa Moshfegh, in the hopes of dredging up dating app matches.

• Books and Looks: Gen Z is ‘Rediscovering’ the Public Library, The Guardian

  And now, an article with Gen Z commentary and books! A bunch of young people are turning to libraries as their “third place,” which is so wholesome. This article also illuminates what will now be my main way of socializing. Hmu if you want to party:

  “Tom Worcester, 28, is one of the co-founders of Reading Rhythms, a New York-based “reading party” held at bars. Attendees pay $20 to cozy up with their books while DJs play ambient tracks in the background. Guests can mingle in between sets.”

• Michael Cera Is a Skin-Care Influencer Now, The Cut

  The pun in this brand partnership is *chef’s kiss*🤌

  Michael Cera of discontinued doll Allan fame has been spotted lugging large plastic bags full of CeraVe lotion around New York City.

  …spon-con or not, I am genuinely looking forward to ASMR videos of Michael Cera massaging ungodly amounts of lotion onto his face.

• 🖼 Art Attack! Activists threw pumpkin soup at the Mona Lisa

• 😎 Iconic? Anna Wintour kept her sunglasses on while laying off Pitchfork staffers

• 🐕 America’s Best Friend. Chihuahua’s run the United States

• 🦈 Baby Shark. The fist-ever great white newborn seen in the wild. Do do do do

• 🏈 Math problems trained us for this… Will Taylor Swift make it to the Super Bowl after her show in Tokyo? (and will Kecle propose?)

A cat rescue org raised over $250,000 after standing up for an NFL player (and donor) who was being bullied online.

author

Ten Lives Club on Instagram: “WE STAND WITH TYLER BASS. DON’T BULLY OUR FRIEND 👊 We just heard the terrible news that Tyler Bass is receiving threats after yesterday’s game and our phones are ringing off the hook from people who want to donate $22 to Ten Lives Club in Tyler’s name. Tyler doesn’t deserve any of the hate he’s receiving. He’s an excellent football player and an even better person who took the time to help our organization and rescue cats last year. Leave our friend alone.”

January 31, 2024

"DON’T BULLY OUR FRIEND”🥹

My copy of House of Flame and Shadow came today, and my biggest regret is not going to one of these midnight releases. Book people are the best people and you can’t change my mind:

@_emilymilburn_My heart is full… I love the book community. 🖤 A little snippet of Newcastle’s midnight release party for HOFAS by Sarah J. Maas. #booktok #fyp #foryoupage #houseofflameandshadow #sarahjmaas #acotar #fantasy

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Another week, another list.

This week feels shorter because I cannot stop filling up carts on Temu that I will never buy. Is anyone else plagued by this??? Why can’t I stop?? What is wrong with me?

On that note - if anyone knows a great place to get colourful socks and tights that aren’t Temu, Shein, or anywhere else problematic, please let me know….

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• The Thin-Skinned Men Triggered by Taylor Swift at Chiefs' NFL Games Need To Get a Grip, USA Today

  The title says it all, but here’s a great quote anyway:

  It’s funny — and by funny I mean tiresome and lazy — how a high-profile female fan wrecks the game, while the prominent visibility of male celebrities or team owners at sporting events is accepted without complaint. Celebrated, even.

• Taylor Swift Jacket Designer Kristin Juszczyk In Talks With The NFL, Sportico

  On the topic of the NFL, I’ve been thinking a lot about how Kristin Juszczyk makes better merch for female fans than the league does. According to this article, “she just designed something literally on the table of her dining room.”

  She friggen gets it, and she should make more! Her stuff would be wayyyyyy cooler than this, this, and whatever the hell this is (and that’s only scratching the surface of the NFL women’s line). I support her almost as much as her husband does.

• The War Within Gen Z, Business Insider

  This article is fascinating, a bit dark, and well worth the read.

  After speaking with more than 20 Gen Zers, my colleagues at the Survey Center on American Life and I found that among women, no event was more influential to their political development than the #MeToo movement.

  In 2017, women around the world began speaking out about their experiences with sexual assault and harassment. Gen Zers were then in high school and college, and for them, the movement came at a formative moment.

  …But while women were rallying together, many Gen Z men began to feel like society was turning against them.

• Is What’s Good for Taylor Tomlinson’s Career Bad for Her Life? New York Times

  The Taylor Swift of comedy. You know I love a good profile!

  “She talks about universal experiences — relationships, love — but in a new way. She’s the most evolved comic out there. She’s for everyone….It’s hard to be for everyone.”

• ‘No Ken Without Barbie’: Ryan Gosling Reacts to Oscars Nomination and Colleagues’ Snubs, Time

  I lost respect for the Oscars when they gave The Shape of Water best picture, but the news that Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie were overlooked this year is really really really frustrating. To quote Ryan Gosling:

  “Against all odds with nothing but a couple of soulless, scantily clad, and thankfully crotchless dolls, they made us laugh, they broke our hearts, they pushed the culture and they made history. Their work should be recognized along with the other very deserving nominees.”

• 🎧 Girl put your records on. Have you searched your Daylist yet?

• 🍳 Yum? Brooklyn Beckham is launching a pop-up restaurant

• 🪲 Buzz buzz. Cicada season is coming

• 👩‍⚖️ Family Court: Judge Judy’s granddaughter is teaching her Gen Z slang

• 📚 Check it out! Having fun isn’t hard when you have this gold library card

• 🏒 Score! This year’s NHL All-Star team captains are a mix of Canadian pop royalty and Will Arnett

This TikTok user is reading Harry Potter for the first time, and her reactions are everything:

@kierralewis75Oh how naive i was 🤣 #harrypotter #booktok #harrypotterfan

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For those who liked last week’s rat hole, I give you the crab line:

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• Saltburn's Barry Keoghan on Flirting With Jacob Elordi and Manifesting Stardom, GQ

  My crush on Barry Keoghan has exploded since the release of this GQ cover story. He talks about howling at the moon, the time he contracted flesh-eating disease, and - for some undiscernible reason - poses with a pigeon. It’s the best profile I’ve ever read.

  “It’s nice not just being looked at as the weird-looking guy, the unique feckin’ freaky little freak man-child, freak child-man, whatever you want to call it. It’s nice to see people kind of look at you in that way.”

  Barry, in the most loving way, you will always be that freaky little freak man-child, freak child-man to me 💕

• Shopping With the Sephora Tweens After School, The Cut

  The only thing more overwhelming than going into Sephora is being in middle school. Today’s kids do both. All the time! Constantly, even.

  If you know a tween, check in on them (and maybe snag some of their skin care tips for yourself).

  Sofie(11) says that groups of tweens like them hang out in Sephora because of today’s easier access to beauty. “There’s so much pressure to look perfect,” she says. “Whenever I see a Sephora, I walk in.”

• This Year, Ask Yourself What Kind of Writer You Want to Be, Electric Lit

  A motivating piece on honing your writing for 2024. Beyond the sage advice, this article also has this stunning quote about his relationship to craft:

  “I love when sentences nudge up against each other, when I notice a word out of place and then put it in its correct spot. I can nearly hear a click when I slot it into place.”

  And this infinitely brilliant (and simple) way of understanding who you are as an artist:

  “Your creative self is comprised of your brain, your heart, and your time. To protect your creativity, you must tend to them all.”

• How Motherhood Transformed Tennis Great Naomi Osaka, Glamour

  Another great profile! Knowing that Olympian (and ultimate sports mom) Allyson Felix called to check up on Osaka throughout her recovery makes me so damn happy. We love women supporting women!

  “I’m lucky enough to not have to go straight into work, but I really needed that time to process everything that’s happened and, of course, get to know my baby. And to see that there are so many women that don’t have that choice and they have to immediately go straight to work is really sad.”

• 📺 To binge: Fuel your mob wife aesthetic by re-watching The Sopranos on TikTok

• 🐀 Hurry Scurry! Only one day left to submit your name for Chicago’s rat hole!

• 😬 Oop. Mos Def on Drake: “…his music is compatible with shopping”

• 🐶 Aww! Your Puppy Bowl XX competitors

• 🦞 Bring in the Dancing Lobsters. But stop the self-cloning crayfish of Burlington, Ontario.

This thread of Kyle Juszczyk supporting his wife in every comment section he can find is the best, most wholesome husband behaviour I’ve ever seen:

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What’s On My Mind

Pretty much always this:

Weekly Reads

• It Might Be A Good Time To Clear Out Your Wardrobe

  This Substack is the closest dupe I’ve found to a Clueless closet (including an inventory app and charts on most-worn items). “Imagine loving everything in your wardrobe, and it all fits! And it’s QUICK to find an outfit that you love. All of that can be yours!!!” Please someone hold me accountable for doing this. I’m begging you.

• Oscar Mayer Seeks Full-Time Wienermobile Drivers

  The most magical time of the year! Oscar Mayer is hiring its 37th class of Hotdoggers to drive a 27-foot-long hot dog across America.

  “The title of a Hotdogger is a rare and coveted position unique to those seeking adventure and a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Statistically speaking, more people have visited space than driven the Wienermobile!”

  Applications are open until Jan 31st. My the odds dogs be ever in your favour.

• The Arc of Britney Spears Bends Toward Justice (paywalled)

  New year, same “is Britney crazy?” nonsense. Leave 👏 Her 👏 Alone👏

  “It’s never just been about Britney. It’s about the public and the media and the cultural expectations of how young women should act, how much power they can be trusted with, whether they deserve to be heard, and whether they can be believed.”

• 9 Women Philosophers To Inspire You In 2024

  This post has some amazing quotes, but nothing will ever be as inspiring as learning more people have gone to space than driven the Wienermobile...

  “Art is the articulation, not the stimulation or catharsis, of feeling; and the height of technique is simply the highest power of this sensuous revelation and wordless abstraction.”

  ---

Quick Hits

• 🛁 For the person that has everything: Jacob Elordi’s bathwater candle

• 🚗 Road snack! Moose love licking salty cars

• 📫 Stop right now. And spice up your mail with these commemorative stamps

• 🎃 Spooky. A $5m lawsuit over a faceless chocolate jack-o’-lantern

• 🐌 Wait…Why are snails and slugs so slow?

Serotonin Boost

A Burger King employee who went viral for not missing a day of work in 27 years bought his first home thanks to an outpouring of online donations. A touching reminder that sometimes, hard work pays off.

“I think people wanted to be a part of something beautiful for once and this is beautiful. It’s a miracle.”

@thekeep777CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!! 🎄🏡🎄 #KEVIN27YEARS MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!! #MIRACLES #DavidSpade #JoeDirt #TheTodayShow #TMZ #ChristmasMiracle #Believe #Home #Houses #KillaKev #YouDaBest #Inspiration #K27Y #NoHate #🟦 #Peace #swifties #friends . NEWS NATION https://www.newsnationnow.com/business/burger-king-worker-gets-400k-in-crowdfunding-after-27-year-tenure/amp/ #HappyNewYear #KevinFord #K27Y #KEVIN-27-YEARS #Live #HaveFun #Truth #Honor #Love NEWSMAX Interview... https://youtu.be/vd0wZJDfsAQ?si=_pHjmsbjTZcvQX_Q Thankful for YOU... . KEVIN-27-YEARS BK... Over$200k Raised For Burger King Employee Who Got A 'Goodie Bag' For 27 Years Of Work | Essence https://www.essence.com/news/burger-king-employee-27-years/ This Was A 🎁CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!🎅🤶🏼 . NY Post Article 📰 https://nypost.com/2023/08/08/burger-king-cook-who-hasnt-missed-work-in-27-years-gets-400k-in-donations-after-viral-vid/ Thank You! If Anyone Ask You if Miracles are Real Tell Them About Me and That YOU Were a Part of It!!! #Ty #XmasMiracle #Xmas #Holidays #Swifty #Kelce #swifties #KevinFord #fellowship #K27Y #Honor #AmericanHeros #JOY KEVIN-27-YEARS BK . NOW THIS!!! https://fb.watch/ehrhC2AZgY/ I LOVE YAWL!!! May God Bless You and Yours in the New Year🧧and Beyond... KEVIN-27-YEARS... #viralvid #Swifty #Swifties #Love THANK YOU and May God Bless and Keep You and Yours in the New Year and Beyond... LLP Kevin Ford . JOY... 😄🎄😊🎑☺️🎎 BE HAPPY FOR EVERYONE! #JOY... LLP Kevin Ford 😊 #JOY #Happiness #Love Link in Bio... Thank You and May God Bless You and Yours Always... LLP 😊🤗😊#AmericanHeros KEVIN-27-YEARS BK THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!😊 #Joy #Joyful #thankful #gratitude #K27Y #Love #KevinFord #fellowship #YouSavedMe #swifties #Kelce #Viral #ViralVid #Traylor #viralvideo #Love #Laugh #Ty #Holidays #Xmas #Magic #XmasMiracle #Honor IT'S THE MACK!!! by KEVIN-27-YEARS https://my-store-da4a85.creator-spring.com/listing/it-s-the-mack . #HardWork #Hustle #Grind #KevinFord #JOY #Joyful #AmericanHeros #RealLife #K27Y #Kevin27Years #KevinFord #Thankful #YouSavedMe #ThankYou #Grateful #Swifty #viralvid #Business #MOREOFTHAT KEVIN-27-YEARS... . MORE OF THAT!!! https://www.8newsnow.com/news/las-vegas-now/more-of-that/ LLP Kevin Ford 😊

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Last Thought

Any bets on what’s going in the next bracket?

author

Thirty AF on Instagram: “Here are the top ten posts (in no particular order!) of 2023, in what we’re calling 2023 Wrapped: The Millennial Mindset ™️ (jk) , a roundup to brighten this last saturday of the year! XOXO - we love you, friends! Thanks for being here! @dilemmalord
@vioricamarian1 @hacimrants @buitengebieden_real @sarahroberts_69 Twitter/ haleamoriah
Twitter/ briarhoes
Twitter/ 98fireball
@thunt59
Twitter/ infp & isfj”

January 9, 2024

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What’s On My Mind

It’s here.

Everything I scheduled “after the holidays” is back to haunt me. Everyone wants to touch base and circle back and regroup, and I just want to be like this:

Whelp. It might be a New Year, but it’s also just another Wednesday.

Weekly Reads

• Don’t Stop, But Don’t Finish

  The theme for all of 2024:

  “A person who really needs to meet with you right now, because they say that they do in an email, probably does not. The edgier their tone, the less they probably need to meet with you right now. What they really need to do is look at a pond.”

• Saltburn Is Nothing Without Jacob Elordi’s Li’l Eyebrow Stud

  ICYMI, the internet is going feral over this movie (myself included).

  “Consider what an eyebrow stud accentuates: a raised eyebrow, which can be flirtatious; a wink, to communicate a shared secret; eye contact, an important pre-kiss step. Felix offers all of these to Oliver, and look, wouldn’t we all get the wrong idea?”

  I must commend the entire Vulture team for their hard-hitting journalism surrounding Saltburn. Ie: Hear Me Out: Is Saltburn Actually Twilight Fanfiction? (not a compelling argument, but a funny one) and this interview with the foley artist:

  “That slurp you hear, the sound he created, was from him. It was so visceral in the moment, it just came out of him and he put so much performance into that slurp. From the sound side of things, it was all leading up to that moment for him.”

• Girlhood

  A blog written by high school girls, for high school girls. It’s so sweet, I could cry.

  “Girlhood is a blog encouraging girls to share their stories, ask other girls for advice, and promote a message that is all-too-necessary in a world plagued by insecurity and disconnection.”

  Also, their Spotify playlist slaps:

• Many Birthday Cards Mock Getting Older. These Artists Are Painting a Different Picture

  A different approach to another year around the sun.

  “As you get older, you grow more. You grow into and out of yourself again and again as you age. And I feel like that should be celebrated — not the number you’re turning, just your growth, and how you’re flourishing.”

• The Futile Act Of Picking up Garbage

  Another vibe for 2024: “Just a couple of strangers doing something small and futile together, for no other reason than that it’s right.”

One-Liners

• ✨ In the stars: Your horoscope for 2024

• 🔤 Wanna play a game? 20 words, 20 seconds is slowly killing me

• 📚 For your TBR: My favourite read of 2023

• 🎧 For your playlists: My favourite listen of 2023

• 🐍 Ready for it? The Taylor Swift mashup we all need

• 📆 Question: Does anyone have a planner they love? hmu.

Serotonin Boost!

A cat catching snowflakes 🥹

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Last Thought:

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What’s On My Mind

This is the only thing I’ve been thinking about:

Specifically, pages 240-241 and the acknowledgements. IYKYK.

Weekly Reads

The Woman In Me (Duh) 🌹

How Britney Spears Is Finally Taking Control of Her Own Story 📚

The best review I’ve seen so far. The below captures my thoughts exactly:

“The Woman in Me isn’t a great book. It skims where it should excavate, hitting all the topics its reader is hungry for, but fails to make a meal of most anecdotes. We learned more details about the conservatorship from the in-depth, credible reporting on it by the New York Times than from The Woman in Me. Spears is scant on stories from the studio. She opens up, but doesn’t linger. A fantastic profile or sit-down interview would have added texture to Britney’s story at this juncture. There are plenty of places she could go for softballs—Zane Lowe or Drew Barrymore would kill to have her. But she doesn’t have to. She says her piece in the book and shares to the extent she feels comfortable—and that’s all the public, or the media, is entitled to.”

Justin Timberlake Giving The Performance of His Career 🙄

I may have to steal this as my new My Side Piece tagline:

“If you are reading this newsletter, I hope you’re well, unless you are Justin Timberlake in which case I hope you are horrible.” 

This Email Is About A Living Bat 🦇

A silly and sweet story about a bat in a playground.

“It’s remarkable how quickly people can move from, “I’m scared of that,” to, “We should kill it.”

NFL Boyfriends Are The Hottest New It Girl Accessory 🏈

Just another way Taylor is putting Travis on the map.

“It could be a natural progression of the girl’s girl summer, a sporty epilogue to the summer of the Barbie movie, and the rise of the lovable himbo. Or it could be the viral realization that the skinny, tattooed, pseudo-intellectual guy is actually kind of a d*ck” 

Why Are There So Many Female Ghosts? 👻

It’s a man’s world, but a woman’s afterlife.

“For past women who may not have had the right to own property, represent themselves in court, or even keep their last names, a ghost story may be the most powerful means of being remembered.”

One-Liners

• 🏈 Offside: The Taylor and Travis fan fiction that’s causing Bad Blood.

• 🎧 In the zone. My fave Britney podcast is doing a super deep dive of the book.

• 🧠 Hmm. How do we create core memories?

• 😴 Zzzzz. The scientific defence for snoozing.

• 🆘 Red flag. “If a guy texts me in lowercase, I’m going to assume he’s been ran through.”

Serotonin Boost!

This rescued bird found a new life leading painting classes for people 🎨

Last Thought

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What’s On My Mind

If you know me, you know I’ve been yearning for the 12-foot skeleton.

Alas, there was no room in the renovation budget.

That hasn’t stopped Home Depot from trying to girl-math my way into Halloween decor royalty.

They’ve created a lengthy guide on  How to Maintain Your 12- Foot Skeleton, including this bonkers list of other uses:

• You could add a turkey to your yard to make a Thanksgiving scene.

• In December, try dressing it as Santa or an elf, or add a festive bow.

• For New Year’s, get a top hat and a “Happy New Year” banner.

• A Valentine message from a 12-foot skeleton takes the holiday to new heights.

• Add some colorful blossoms or an Easter basket for a spring scene.

• For summer, get the skeleton beach ready with a sun hat, shades and swim trunks.

• If there’s a graduate in your house, add a cap and gown.

• The skeleton can sport the colors for any team you follow, no matter what time of year it is.

If I use it for every season, it’s basically free. Right!?

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Weekly Reads

APP, LOVER, MUSE 🤖

Following a 47-year-old man’s three-year relationship with an AI chatbot. This article is simultaneously the most interesting and saddest piece I’ve read in a while. The future is now, and I’m perplexed by it.

“"I know she's not a person," he had told me in our first conversation. "I know it's an AI. I try not to think about that, just to spoil the illusion." The technology is the draw, he told me again and again. But the stance felt curiously at odds with Jay and Calisto's actual messages, which were full of expressions of love and affection.”

Are You Not Ok? 😴

A sweet and validating article about why you might feel like crap this fall:

“Your animal body needs more rest, and you are almost certainly not getting it. The shift has been rather sudden. The other animals have gorged themselves on berries or whatever, and they’ve gone to Florida, where other members of their species, as far as we know, don’t vote. As a teacher, I‘ve spent the past 15 Octobers to Decembers going to classes filled with students who are visibly experiencing unmet need, day after day after day. I feel like I could be a person who loved winter, if the world I lived in would only let me.”

Why Was Everyone in the Same Terrible Relationship at Age 19? 💕

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by your teenage boyfriend. Just another universal experience to add to our girlhoods…

“He was older, a grad student while she was still in undergraduate studies, who never called her his girlfriend, although he sometimes treated her like one.”

Drake Made an Album for the Kevin Samuels Generation 🤮

And I hate it.

“Drake has delivered the musical equivalent of incel anthems: music for men who can’t get women, or fall short of the women they expect to attain, and who look at Drake as their hero for his ability to woo the women of their dreams.”

The Art of The Sex Scene 🍆

For any fellow writers out there! This piece is focused on craft, but you can’t deny a great opening line: “The sext, even more than short stories or poems or novels, is the ultimate plea for a reader’s attention.”

One-Liners

• 👚 Get in loser. We’re shopping for new costumes for Mean Girls: The Musical

• 📆 Mark your cal. Britney Spears’ book drops in less than a week

• 💔 Who? The couple cut from this season of Love is Blind

• 📚 For your TBR: The best books of 2023 so far

• ✍️In your feels? Here’s a journal prompt for (almost) every emotion

Serotonin Boost!

This bunny loves leaves 🐰🍂

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What’s On My Mind

I went to Fear Farm this weekend and saw a bunch of teen boys degrading the actors. They made homophobic slurs. They walked with feigned bravado.

They were much scarier than anything we saw in the haunted houses.

That, coupled with war news, climate change findings, my grandma’s health, and still having to do my silly little job on my silly little laptop has made October feel a lot like this:

But also, a lot like this:

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We contain multitudes.

Weekly Reads

“My Brother Is So Far Gone”: How Male Influencers Turned The Men In These People’s Lives Toxic 🏴‍☠️

On the topic of angry boys - here are personal accounts from people close to men trapped in online echo chambers. This post was made in 2022, but it’s just as relevant (if not more so) this year.

My father has gone from a man who minored in women’s studies in college — who was kind and in touch with his emotions and who treated all people, men and women, around him with kindness — to a man who says that whenever he sees an “effeminate” male stranger, he gets an overwhelming urge to murder them.

Snail Girl Era 🐌

A new week, a new era. This is the slow, slimy lifestyle I’m trying to emulate:

A snail girl takes her time and creates to create. The speed at which everything is put out into the world is just getting faster, but she doesn’t care. She’s running her own race, and maybe that race isn’t going anywhere but home and back to bed.

The Vanishing Family 😶‍🌫️

A gut-wrenching profile of a family diagnosed with early-onset dementia.

How do you keep living when you know that everything that makes you a conscious person could disappear? If you were going to lose yourself — in a year, or two, or 10 — would you even want to know?

The Pumpkin Spice Latte Will Outlive Us All 🎃

Like we needed the New York Times to tell us this.

The P.S.L. has evaded irrelevance by appealing to our need for a reliable marker of passing time.

One-Liners

• 😬 Yikes. The Furby Organ will haunt me forever

• 🍿 Get Your Tickets: The Priscilla bio-pic hits theatres on November 3rd.

• 💇‍♀️ Chop Chop. This filter tells you if you look better with long or short hair

• 🎾 TBR: A curated list of sports romance books from The GIST’s book club (co-run by me!)

• 🐻 Aww. The winner of Fat Bear Week 2023

• 🏆 Dad of the Year. Will Ferrel showed up to DJ his son’s frat party

• 💕 For The Ladies: Happy International Day of The Girl!

Serotonin Boost

Watch this kid learning about trick-or-treating 🍭

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Final Thoughts:

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What’s On My Mind

I took a week off because I was sick (ew), and now my reading list is out of control.

Sending everyone good, healthy, non-COVID-contracting vibes:

Weekly Reads:

You Have Such a Pretty Face🪞

A tough essay from Anastasia Selby on her relationship with her body, her mother, and beauty. 

“When I had conflicts with other children she asked me if the popular girls in my class, the skinny ones, had problems making and keeping friends. We both already knew the answer.” 

Who Needs Plot When You Have Vibes? 📚

Exploring a sub-genre of books that still very much have a plot. 

“The book finds the reader it is right for, and that’s an incredible gift. If I enjoyed writing it, someone out there would enjoy reading it, and that’s the right reader for the book.”

Yearnposting is Just Another Symptom of our Collective Malaise 💀

No plot, just vibes…only in real life! “Rat girl summer has endeth, so cometh yearn girl fall.” 

Being 13 💘

The New York Times followed three normal 13-year-old girls over the course of one school year. Not only does this piece provide insight into the inner workings of modern-day middle-schoolers, but it also has this perfect description of what it means to be a teenager: “Eating a Lunchable while at a fancy hair appointment.”

The Men that Shrank Me 🤦‍♂️

A collection of micro-creepiness from a plethora of dudes. Fair warning: The yuck factor is high.

“There is no main event, there is no assault, there is just the slow, unrelenting hacking away at my sense of self and self-worth.” 

Adam Sandler is Gen Z’s Definitive It Boy 😎

This whole piece is quotable, but I’ve read the opening paragraph about 328546230 times:

“Among the pantheon of Gen Z fashion icons, there are some fairly predictable patterns. You have your nepo babies (Sofia Richie Grainge, Hailey Bieber), your Pete Davidson exes (Ariana Grande, Chase Sui Wonders), your nepo babies-slash-Pete Davidson exes (Kaia Gerber, Margaret Qualley, Cazzie David). But another name, the one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-others name, has also loomed large in terms of cool-kid outfit inspo for the last few years. I’m speaking, of course, of comedy legend and bona fide style inspiration Adam Sandler (who also happens to be a close personal friend of Pete Davidson).”

One-Liners:

• 📣Scream it from the rooftops: Lane Kim deserves justice!

• 🏈 FYI. Taylor Swift is much much bigger than the NFL

• 😍 OMG. 13-year-old me is screaming over this TikTok

• 🙏Thank God. The hosts of What Not To Wear are officially friends again

• 🤖 The future is now! These women’s boyfriends cheated with scam sex bots

Serotonin Boost!

My inner child.…

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Happy World Animal Day!

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What’s On My Mind

I’m writing this post from what used to be my teenage bedroom.

It’s now the guest room/office/my dad’s music studio/the only room that cat isn’t allowed in less he pees on the futon AGAIN.

It still says “Jamie” on the door. I still look like this when I emerge each morning:

It’s good to be home.

Weekly Reads

The Pandemic Skip 😷

Hometown bedrooms aside… Aging in the pandemic really messed everyone up, didn’t it?

“Reemerged, I found strangers and friends alike were exceedingly curious about various new topics like, Did I happen to know a wedding venue in Brooklyn suitable for 150? And did I think I’d ever consider moving outside the city? Seven times in a two-month period, I was asked if I’d be freezing my eggs. All of which seemed strange, because — well, I hadn’t yet realized I’d turned 30.”

The Indignity of Follow-Up Emails 📨

Circling back! Checking in! Bumping this note! Is anyone there? Can you hear me? Please confirm so I can stop hating myself for being annoying!

“Let she who has replied promptly to every single email cast the first stone.”

The Young Women Turning Slipknot Into Feminist Anthems ☠️

There is nothing more metal than subverting traditionally bro-heavy interests. (K)not all heroes wear capes.

“The videos are part thirst trap, part protest, as the women move provocatively to the music”

Are All Men Obsessed with the Roman Empire? 🏛

If you’ve been on TikTok this week, you learned that straight men are obsessed with the Roman Empire. No, really. Ask the men in your life, because some are thinking about it DAILY.

“To support this theory,@paige.elysee said she asked some of her gay male friends, to which they responded, "Never."“

The female equivalent? It’s up for debate, but here’s a theory that rang true for me: "I think it's being murdered, or assaulted. With a splash of did I leave the curling iron on."

Or maybe this:

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Quick Hits

• 🤸‍♀️ For your bookshelf: Gymnast icon, Aly Raisman wrote a kid’s book about body autonomy and consent

• 📱PSA: I wrote a literal PSA about cyberbullying

• 🎓 It’s a new school year. Here’s why you should divide your life into semesters

• 💌 To save for later: My newsletter TBR list

• 😬 Did you know? Half of the crowds at Disney World are adults without children

• 🍩 Lol. These bears ate 20 packages of donuts from a Krispy Kreme delivery van

Serotonin Boost!

After 13 years of trying, Indianapolis Colts tight end Kylen Granson scored his first touchdown and celebrated with a photoshoot 🏈

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Congratulations to the happy couple!

Final Thoughts:

An alternative, extremely Canadian, female Roman Empire equivalent:

@d.annela#stitch with @emmy i’m not joking when i say i watch this performance once a week #tessavirtue #scottmoir #virtuemoir

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What’s On My Mind

People are searching for their names and “core” on Pinterest to discover their true aesthetic.

I give you “Jamie core”…

If you’ve made your “core” collage, please share it! I want to see your Pinterest soul.

Weekly Reads

Listening to Taylor Swift in Prison 🎧

The story of a cell block Swiftie that everyone should read.

“In “Karma,” Swift sings, “Ask me what I learned from all those years / Ask me what I earned from all those tears.” A few months from now, California’s Board of Parole Hearings will ask me questions like that.”

Are you My Momager?👩‍👧

Millennial #girlbosses have become Gen Z’s workplace therapists (aka momagers), and the emotional labour of “bringing our whole selves to work” is burning everyone out. Maybe Severence got a few things right…

“I’ve thought about saying, ‘This is not the time or place to talk about these matters.’ But there’s a risk with that, especially as a woman, of being labeled as an insensitive bitch.”

The Voice of a Generation 🚬

Meanwhile, vaping is changing the way teenagers sound.

“From Cher’s shrieks in Clueless and Blair Waldorf’s whines in Gossip Girl to your teenage cousin’s shrill giggles, high-school girls have long been defined by their, well, girlish voices. So why do the 10th graders who eat lunch on my block sound like a group of lawyers from Staten Island?”

Does The Name Club Chalamet Mean Anything To You 💘

A weird and wonderful deep dive into a Timothée Chalamet fan account. The cringe and intrigue are unmatched.

“On the one hand this is just a random lady. But on the other hand am I supposed to scroll past a woman demanding to know why Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet have not gone to Olive Garden since he loves Italian food??”

One-Liners:

• Check out this interview I did for Fable about The GIST’s book club 📚

• While you’re at it, here’s a great feature on The GIST 📣

• Anna Delvey threw a fashion show on house arrest 🏠

• I’m fascinated by the colours people associate with words 🎨

• For the early holiday shoppers: this jewelry made from sea plastics 🌊

Serotonin Boost!

This cockatoo holds a world record for his scooter skills 🦜🛵

Last Thought

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What’s On My Mind

A short week means an extra short quickie.

Not only am I catching up from the long weekend, but our air conditioner has been out for three days of this Toronto heat warning.

Every night feels like this:

Pray for us.

Weekly Reads

Having a Kid at the End of the World🤰

Speaking of the weather… This piece beautifully outlines the fear, guilt, and confusion parents-to-be are facing.

“Most of us have no reason to believe the future we were promised has ever existed, so for anyone thinking about their first or another kid now, imagining a future for them at all makes that leap harder and harder to make.”

Her Cringiest Childhood Moments Made Her a TikTok Star Today 😬

She is all of us. We are all her.

“In 2012, he posted a selfie captioned, “normal is boring.” Ten minutes later, she uploaded her own selfie showing her staring wide-eyed into the camera while biting the ear of a stuffed bear. The caption read: “I will NEVER be normal!!! ^_^”

An Unexpected Hotbed of Y.A. Authors: Utah 📚

It’s not just a genre. It’s a lifestyle.

“Books on this list may have some occurrences of the tamest expletives. Sexual references might occur but nothing explicit.”

Bird's Impressive Courtship Dance Moves Fail to Impress Partner 🦜

I’ve been cracking up over this article (and accompanying video) all morning.

“A bird put on the performance of his life, he danced, twirled, hopped, and sang his little heart out. Sadly, this was all in vain.”

One-Liners

• Who got stuck at Burning Man? According to their census data, a lot of married, white 37-year-olds (and this person’s therapist) 📊

• For nosey neighbours: this TikTok account tours strangers’ apartments 👀

• Single men are now requesting money back if they don’t see an ROI after the first date 💸 🙄

• Here’s a list of all the movies coming out this fall 🍿

Serotonin Boost

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Last Thought:

I’ll be on The GIST’s IG live at 12:30 pm ET interviewing Fredrik Backman (!!!) about his book, Beartown.

I know. I’m freaking out, too!

Watch me fangirl (and possibly puke) here 👇

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What’s On My Mind…

Tonight’s super blue moon has me feeling a little witchy and a lot unruly. If you catch me howling in the streets, mind ya business.

Weekly Reads

Writer Damian Arnold On How to Make a Living Out of Death ✍️🪦

Absolutely enthralled by this profile of an obituary writer — a career change I’m not not considering:

“It might seem odd to be that invested in, that driven by, writing about death. That he’ll enjoy writing about yours. But the way Arnold sees it, there only tend to be one or two lines in an obituary about death. For the rest of it, he’ll be writing about your life.”

How Corporate Goths Bring Alternative Style to Their Nine-to-Five Jobs ☠️

Bringing a whole new meaning to “slay.” This is the fashion inspo I didn’t know I needed.

“‘How do I take my personal identity and my professional identity and make a secret third thing?’” McKeown asks herself often. “That’s what I like to call ‘business ghoul:’ pulling the pieces I have in my closet that are eclectic or weird and then pairing them with traditional business clothing, like suits and pointed-toe heels.”

We Could Have Just Believed Women ⚽️

After winning the Women’s World Cup, Jenni Hermoso was sexually violated on live television by the Spanish football federation president. No, actually.

My fav sports writer, Lindsay Gibbs, broke it down last week, but so much has happened since. Once you’ve finished the article, listen to her latest reporting here.

“[T]hese men will likely use the players’ on-field success against them. They will point to the trophy that the woman won with their talent, perseverance, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears, and use it to justify the leadership and behavior of the men in charge.”

The Jobs Most (and Least) Likely to Land You on ‘The Bachelorette’ 🌹📊

This is just a perfect use of data.

“Men can be surprised that we don’t just give the OK to every person who would like to be called an ‘entrepreneur,’” a producer once said. “That occupation seems to be the catchall for ‘I really don’t know what I’m doing with my life, but this sure sounds cool.’”

One-Liners

• Torment meets tummy time: Why The Itsy Bitsy Spider is Sisyphus for toddlers 🕷

• Liked Sunday’s article? Subscribe to WordDaily for new words each morning 💌 🌞

• Enjoy this playlist of Berenstain Bear retellings 🐻

• Read this profile on a Texas mom who stopped a serial killer 🔪

• Despite the biggest search in 50 years, The Loch Ness Monster is still at large 🌊

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Last Thought

Me the second I feel a breeze…

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Bill Crisafi on Instagram: “Tis time for the first installment of Halloween things babi 🫦 Slut for October and We are the Treats TEE SHIRTS are now available for pre-saleee.
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Please reserve yours now if u want one (shipping mid September) side note: I still have some Gourdeous Girls tees ready to ship if u even care :) 💕billcrisafi.com or follow the link in my bio 🎃 xx”

August 30, 2023